I'm not entirely sure what's up with me lately, but I've been in a funk. For weeks. I'm not unhappy, but not entirely jubilant either and it's driving me crazy. I'm sure I'm just in a downward spiral and that negativity begets negativity, but haven't had the energy to dig out. The purpose of this blog is to getit out there and MOVE ON. I can't live like this. My patience is beyond zero with the kids and I hear way too many mean and sarcastic remarks coming out of my mouth, and then get overly angry when I hear the same ones out of Dylan's mouth toward his sister. Ugh. I know I did this and I know it has to stop.
Boobs are ok. Too big, but what are ya gonna do?? I'll get used to them, these grapefruits stuck on the front of my ribs. They don't stick out too far, but are rather wide and oh so round. People keep saying I look great, but they don't feel right. They don't even fit in my hands. My real ones used to. It's like I'm palming a basketball.
One more week until my restrictions are lifted. Not that I've paid them any mind anyway. I didn't want to put the burden on Corey for all the housework. I also secretly feared nothing would get done. No ill will to Corey, he's just too busy and stressed to have one more thing on his plate either. I haven't lifted Casey or vacuumed or done the laundry, but everything else was fair game. I can run again next week, or at least try to. I have to think that part of this mood is caused by lack of exercise. I sure hope so.
I've stopped counting calories which is wonderful. I've lost pounds and am at my weight from last year, just where I want to be. Thank you vegan diet. I don't worry about what I eat. Is it vegan? Then I eat it. Not vegan? I don't. Plain and simple and it does the trick. Finally. I am still working on more vegetables, less sugar, but I'm making huge strides and feel good. I seriously cannot wait to run and exercise again. I feel soft.
Work has sucked lately. See, I get a whole $12 an hour to answer phones that don't ring. It pays for Casey's school and gives me just a little to bring home. Of course that's assuming my kids aren't sick and I haven't had to miss work. I also get research, which pays $40 an hour. I took the job because of the research. Problem is, there hasn't been any research since January and it's killing me. We got a tax refund, but that went straight to a new couch. Research better come soon, or I hardly think it's a job worth keeping. Corey's frustrated with his job and we've been questioning our purpose. If that's not stressful, I don't know what is. I don't handle change or a shift in routine very well.
There, done with my bitching. I have nothing to complain about.
Dylan made me an early mother's day card today and left it where I'd find it. He's such a sweetheart sometimes. Made my day. He must have known that I needed it.
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