Feeling pretty good one day out. My abdomen is sore, but basically good. One percocet yesterday evening as I began to regain feeling after the anesthesia and also had a headache. I felt so good yesterday that I thought I could go walk the dogs I'm sitting. I forgot that it takes a while for percocet to really kick in and when it does, I get dizzy. My sweet husband walked them for me and I came over and fed them. Of course he comments "Four years I've been working at Mercury, and not once have you gone to work for me." ha!
I spent last night nauseous and whiny so I went to bed with Casey at 8:00. Now up at 6:00 and no meds yet. I think it's going to be a good day but I will remind myself not to overdo it.
There is some bleeding through the bandages, but I think that's ok, as long as it's not "excessive". My biggest fear is that the nips will be cockeyed. I moved one of the sensors Dr. B used to place the nipples and I hope I kept it even. Oh well, I trust he's done it right.
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recovery. Show all posts
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
a month
I can't believe a whole month has gone by since what better be my final surgery! It flew by. Overall, I am happy with the results. At first they were swollen and my boobs actually had a more "real" look to them, but alas, they are still two grapefruits adhered to my ribs. Smaller grapefruits, but round and unnatural just the same. Oh well. I'm feeling good and normal. I started running again this week. It's sad, pathetic and slow, but I am so glad to be back at it. I've signed up for boot camp for November. I am now regretting it, but need to follow through. It's at one of those places with no music, no tv's, and some hyper, slightly mean, ex-marine running the class. I need this to get me back in shape. I am a total and complete blob.
As for losing my job, it has been the best thing. I cannot believe how much happier I am. I think that place was really bringing me down and although I had a paycheck, it had a way of making me feel stupid and useless. I have since been lucky enough to land a temporary work at home position as a search engine evaluator. It's tedious work, so I'm not getting a ton of hours in, but I'm able to collect some unemployment to make up for my lack of hours. The position will end in 6 months, so I'll need to figure out a new plan by then. They're also very strict about work quality, so it is entirely possible they'll fire me sooner than that.
I have jumped in to working on Rocky Mountain Dog Runner. It's a lot of fun. I've created my facebook page and am working on setting my rates and getting my website going. Corey took some pictures of me with the dogs yesterday for the website. Luckily, he was able to snap some shots that didn't show the dogs pulling me down the trail. I'm taking it slowly since I really don't have the time to do much with Casey here most days. I plan on more on marketing when Casey is in school next Fall. It's weird how much I've been working on this venture. Maybe this one will stick.
I am loving the season and enjoying my family. Corey and I celebrated our 12th anniversary last month. We are still as happy as ever and had a great simple night out.
Happy Fall!
As for losing my job, it has been the best thing. I cannot believe how much happier I am. I think that place was really bringing me down and although I had a paycheck, it had a way of making me feel stupid and useless. I have since been lucky enough to land a temporary work at home position as a search engine evaluator. It's tedious work, so I'm not getting a ton of hours in, but I'm able to collect some unemployment to make up for my lack of hours. The position will end in 6 months, so I'll need to figure out a new plan by then. They're also very strict about work quality, so it is entirely possible they'll fire me sooner than that.
I have jumped in to working on Rocky Mountain Dog Runner. It's a lot of fun. I've created my facebook page and am working on setting my rates and getting my website going. Corey took some pictures of me with the dogs yesterday for the website. Luckily, he was able to snap some shots that didn't show the dogs pulling me down the trail. I'm taking it slowly since I really don't have the time to do much with Casey here most days. I plan on more on marketing when Casey is in school next Fall. It's weird how much I've been working on this venture. Maybe this one will stick.
I am loving the season and enjoying my family. Corey and I celebrated our 12th anniversary last month. We are still as happy as ever and had a great simple night out.
Happy Fall!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Here comes the sun...
Finally. I feel better. I've been wallowing in some sort of depression for what feels like months. I felt like my life was a constant scramble up loose rocks to stay happy, or even to feel the absence of sadness. It wasn't a crying sad, just a cloud.
Work had been really slow, running was non-existent, the clouds literally covered the sun for weeks, etc. etc. I worked every day to keep the sadness from getting the best of me. Again, I'd like to blame the whole breast cancer thing, because at least that I can understand.
Since then, work has picked up, I've started running again, and it looks like Spring is finally here. It's still good days/bad days, but the good days are better and the bad aren't so low.
Boobs are fine. Still seem a bit big, but I'll get used to it. My PS smiled when he saw me and said that they looked good. I really think he meant it, I could see it in his face. They still feel completely foreign. I'm numb up to where my necklace hits, although, when I was at the PS last, I scratched somewhere in between the two, and felt something. I was really excited and so was the PA. Nipples will be in August, after the summer. This way I won't have the shields on with my swimsuit, or worry about swimming at all.
The rest of life is moving along at lightning speed. School is almost out for the summer (lord help me) and I'm gearing up for trips planned. Running is ok. Only up to about 2 miles. The boobs seem really tight when I'm running, but not painful, so I'll keep trudging along.
This all sounds pretty boring, but I'm just glad to be coming out of the fog.
Work had been really slow, running was non-existent, the clouds literally covered the sun for weeks, etc. etc. I worked every day to keep the sadness from getting the best of me. Again, I'd like to blame the whole breast cancer thing, because at least that I can understand.
Since then, work has picked up, I've started running again, and it looks like Spring is finally here. It's still good days/bad days, but the good days are better and the bad aren't so low.
Boobs are fine. Still seem a bit big, but I'll get used to it. My PS smiled when he saw me and said that they looked good. I really think he meant it, I could see it in his face. They still feel completely foreign. I'm numb up to where my necklace hits, although, when I was at the PS last, I scratched somewhere in between the two, and felt something. I was really excited and so was the PA. Nipples will be in August, after the summer. This way I won't have the shields on with my swimsuit, or worry about swimming at all.
The rest of life is moving along at lightning speed. School is almost out for the summer (lord help me) and I'm gearing up for trips planned. Running is ok. Only up to about 2 miles. The boobs seem really tight when I'm running, but not painful, so I'll keep trudging along.
This all sounds pretty boring, but I'm just glad to be coming out of the fog.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
grumpy pants
I'm not entirely sure what's up with me lately, but I've been in a funk. For weeks. I'm not unhappy, but not entirely jubilant either and it's driving me crazy. I'm sure I'm just in a downward spiral and that negativity begets negativity, but haven't had the energy to dig out. The purpose of this blog is to getit out there and MOVE ON. I can't live like this. My patience is beyond zero with the kids and I hear way too many mean and sarcastic remarks coming out of my mouth, and then get overly angry when I hear the same ones out of Dylan's mouth toward his sister. Ugh. I know I did this and I know it has to stop.
Boobs are ok. Too big, but what are ya gonna do?? I'll get used to them, these grapefruits stuck on the front of my ribs. They don't stick out too far, but are rather wide and oh so round. People keep saying I look great, but they don't feel right. They don't even fit in my hands. My real ones used to. It's like I'm palming a basketball.
One more week until my restrictions are lifted. Not that I've paid them any mind anyway. I didn't want to put the burden on Corey for all the housework. I also secretly feared nothing would get done. No ill will to Corey, he's just too busy and stressed to have one more thing on his plate either. I haven't lifted Casey or vacuumed or done the laundry, but everything else was fair game. I can run again next week, or at least try to. I have to think that part of this mood is caused by lack of exercise. I sure hope so.
I've stopped counting calories which is wonderful. I've lost pounds and am at my weight from last year, just where I want to be. Thank you vegan diet. I don't worry about what I eat. Is it vegan? Then I eat it. Not vegan? I don't. Plain and simple and it does the trick. Finally. I am still working on more vegetables, less sugar, but I'm making huge strides and feel good. I seriously cannot wait to run and exercise again. I feel soft.
Work has sucked lately. See, I get a whole $12 an hour to answer phones that don't ring. It pays for Casey's school and gives me just a little to bring home. Of course that's assuming my kids aren't sick and I haven't had to miss work. I also get research, which pays $40 an hour. I took the job because of the research. Problem is, there hasn't been any research since January and it's killing me. We got a tax refund, but that went straight to a new couch. Research better come soon, or I hardly think it's a job worth keeping. Corey's frustrated with his job and we've been questioning our purpose. If that's not stressful, I don't know what is. I don't handle change or a shift in routine very well.
There, done with my bitching. I have nothing to complain about.
Dylan made me an early mother's day card today and left it where I'd find it. He's such a sweetheart sometimes. Made my day. He must have known that I needed it.
Boobs are ok. Too big, but what are ya gonna do?? I'll get used to them, these grapefruits stuck on the front of my ribs. They don't stick out too far, but are rather wide and oh so round. People keep saying I look great, but they don't feel right. They don't even fit in my hands. My real ones used to. It's like I'm palming a basketball.
One more week until my restrictions are lifted. Not that I've paid them any mind anyway. I didn't want to put the burden on Corey for all the housework. I also secretly feared nothing would get done. No ill will to Corey, he's just too busy and stressed to have one more thing on his plate either. I haven't lifted Casey or vacuumed or done the laundry, but everything else was fair game. I can run again next week, or at least try to. I have to think that part of this mood is caused by lack of exercise. I sure hope so.
I've stopped counting calories which is wonderful. I've lost pounds and am at my weight from last year, just where I want to be. Thank you vegan diet. I don't worry about what I eat. Is it vegan? Then I eat it. Not vegan? I don't. Plain and simple and it does the trick. Finally. I am still working on more vegetables, less sugar, but I'm making huge strides and feel good. I seriously cannot wait to run and exercise again. I feel soft.
Work has sucked lately. See, I get a whole $12 an hour to answer phones that don't ring. It pays for Casey's school and gives me just a little to bring home. Of course that's assuming my kids aren't sick and I haven't had to miss work. I also get research, which pays $40 an hour. I took the job because of the research. Problem is, there hasn't been any research since January and it's killing me. We got a tax refund, but that went straight to a new couch. Research better come soon, or I hardly think it's a job worth keeping. Corey's frustrated with his job and we've been questioning our purpose. If that's not stressful, I don't know what is. I don't handle change or a shift in routine very well.
There, done with my bitching. I have nothing to complain about.
Dylan made me an early mother's day card today and left it where I'd find it. He's such a sweetheart sometimes. Made my day. He must have known that I needed it.
Friday, March 12, 2010
oncologist
So, I saw an oncologist today. I didn't really feel the need, but my surgeon said I should... so I did. I arrived early as requested to do paperwork. My appointment was at 10:00. At 10:45, I'm still waiting. I finally went to the desk, in tears, and asked what was going on. I had conned my parents into watching my kids and knew that I had to get back to relieve them. I know the Dr. has much more sick people to attend to, but something about that place just really got to me. I saw 3 bald women. I didn't feel like I belonged and after sitting in that stupid conference room, I didn't feel like I mattered. I sat in the waiting room again and just cried. The energy in there is sad and draining.
Anyway, I finally met with her. The appointment lasted a whole 30 minutes, rather than the allotted hour and a half. She alluded to the fact that I didn't really need to be there (this is a good thing) and I told her I was just doing as instructed. The point is I'm cured and shouldn't have to go back, yippee!
It's been a really emotional week, in every facet of my life. Pre-menstrual plus pre-surgical is a dangerous combination. Don't fuck with me this week.
I swear I hit every red light on the way home. Every one. I also went to Toys R Us for some promised $3 Barbie. This apparently does not exist. Fine by me, I hate that place and am happy not to give them my money, all $3 of it.
On a good note, one thing on my drive home made me smile. A big ol dog with his head stuck out of the sun roof, love it. I came home to my ever giving parents, a grumpy son and my daughgter on her 3rd jelly sandwich. I also the yummiest lunch. I know I haven't had chicken in like 15 years, but I'm pretty sure this is what it tastes like.
Glad the sun is out, but still wishing my days away until Tuesday. I just can't do much until then.
Anyway, I finally met with her. The appointment lasted a whole 30 minutes, rather than the allotted hour and a half. She alluded to the fact that I didn't really need to be there (this is a good thing) and I told her I was just doing as instructed. The point is I'm cured and shouldn't have to go back, yippee!
It's been a really emotional week, in every facet of my life. Pre-menstrual plus pre-surgical is a dangerous combination. Don't fuck with me this week.
I swear I hit every red light on the way home. Every one. I also went to Toys R Us for some promised $3 Barbie. This apparently does not exist. Fine by me, I hate that place and am happy not to give them my money, all $3 of it.
On a good note, one thing on my drive home made me smile. A big ol dog with his head stuck out of the sun roof, love it. I came home to my ever giving parents, a grumpy son and my daughgter on her 3rd jelly sandwich. I also the yummiest lunch. I know I haven't had chicken in like 15 years, but I'm pretty sure this is what it tastes like.
Glad the sun is out, but still wishing my days away until Tuesday. I just can't do much until then.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Snowman Stampede
Ran the 10 mile snowman stampede on Saturday. Not my fastest, but very close and for that I am happy. Corey did great, as I knew he would. It was fun to do this together. He was faster, of course. At around mile one he started to pull away and looked back at me for the OK to go ahead. He had talked about us staying together, but I knew I wanted him to see how fast he could go, really. I finished with about a 10:28 average per mile.
Pre-op appointment yesterday. Ready to go!
Pre-op appointment yesterday. Ready to go!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Plus one, minus two
So, the scale finally reflects 2 pounds lost. whew. 4 more to go. I haven't checked in with the Wii fit to get her perspective, but not sure I want to. Just in case she's off. I know, I know, 4 sounds so small compared to someone with larger weight issues (like on the Biggest Loser), but for me it is the difference in my clothes fitting, in my belly bulge, in my confidence.
Ran one mile this morning. I know right now you're thinking, "Wow, Beth a WHOLE mile, just a short EIGHT weeks post surgery, what a superstar". Well, thing was I got up late. It's all I had time for, so I grabbed Fletcher and took off. Since it was only one mile, my pace was very close to my pace pre-life changing ordeal. I feel good. Had a great day yesterday calorie wise and doing ok so far today, minus the ever present chocolates at work-arrrgghhh and yum!
I was sitting there today conversing with my boss and it seems many many times I feel like I have boobs. This fantasy would of course be shattered if I was to touch them in any way, but point is, they don't hurt and don't feel weird. Sleeping still sucks and some reaching, but it's good to know that overall, I can feel normal. They look pretty cute in a shirt too, if you look past the overachieving right side, which is a bit higher.
Looking forward to beer tonight if I can keep my calories in check.
E is in for her final implant surgery today! I get to keep her fabulous daughter after school and can't wait to see E after all of this. She's the superstar.
Ran one mile this morning. I know right now you're thinking, "Wow, Beth a WHOLE mile, just a short EIGHT weeks post surgery, what a superstar". Well, thing was I got up late. It's all I had time for, so I grabbed Fletcher and took off. Since it was only one mile, my pace was very close to my pace pre-life changing ordeal. I feel good. Had a great day yesterday calorie wise and doing ok so far today, minus the ever present chocolates at work-arrrgghhh and yum!
I was sitting there today conversing with my boss and it seems many many times I feel like I have boobs. This fantasy would of course be shattered if I was to touch them in any way, but point is, they don't hurt and don't feel weird. Sleeping still sucks and some reaching, but it's good to know that overall, I can feel normal. They look pretty cute in a shirt too, if you look past the overachieving right side, which is a bit higher.
Looking forward to beer tonight if I can keep my calories in check.
E is in for her final implant surgery today! I get to keep her fabulous daughter after school and can't wait to see E after all of this. She's the superstar.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thank You... to everyone
for....
-taking care of my kids
-measuring out my medication
-cleaning my house and arranging for professional cleaning
-all the cards
-beautiful flowers
-well wishes and positive thoughts
-camisoles to borrow
-hugs at the bus stop
-meals delivered to my door
-chocolate
-tiny cupcakes
-doing all of the laundry
-lighting candles for my bath
-not complaining about one bit of this
-loving me, physically altered and all
-seeing me through the unbelieveably deep downs
-making me laugh
I feel so loved.
-taking care of my kids
-measuring out my medication
-cleaning my house and arranging for professional cleaning
-all the cards
-beautiful flowers
-well wishes and positive thoughts
-camisoles to borrow
-hugs at the bus stop
-meals delivered to my door
-chocolate
-tiny cupcakes
-doing all of the laundry
-lighting candles for my bath
-not complaining about one bit of this
-loving me, physically altered and all
-seeing me through the unbelieveably deep downs
-making me laugh
I feel so loved.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Trixie
I have this dog, named Trixie. She's an 8 pound chihuahua mix. We adopted her from the shelter 3 years ago. We always say she is the easiest dog, or maybe she's the easiest dog because she is so small that anything she does is unnoticeable. Anyway, I've been in bed almost non-stop since the surgery. Something sick like 22 hours a day. Ugh. She loves to go back to bed after she's been out in the morning, but now, she's in bed with me all the time. All the time. I love it. I feel like she cares for me. She curls up next to me and it soothes me to pet her as I fall asleep for the tenth time in a day. We joke that she's going to get bed sores and Corey will come in and "turn" her. She is making recovery more pleasant, just by being with me. I love her dearly. I will post a picture when I get connected to my hard drive but for now just imagine an 8 pound light brown furry angel with freckles.
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