lost my job

You know how they say you can actually make things happen in your life, just by the power of your thoughts? I don't know if it was a little of that and a little of knowing it was coming, but I am officially unemployed. In some ways it sucks, but I think I've been prepared for this. I didn't want to keep coming here and answering the phone, it was exhausting emotionally and depressing. The only worry I have now is money. It's not like I made a whole lot, but it paid for Casey's pre-school, so now the question is whether we can afford to keep her in school. She's four, so she really should be in pre-school. Of course there are ways of finding the money, but it feels like we're tight enough already.

I have an exam starting today to work a temporary job with Leapforce. It's only a 6 month term and I hear the test is really hard, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But, I am a really good test taker for what it's worth. I'm not even sure what that means, but I've always done well on standardized tests and found them easy, so we'll see.

Today has been weird. My boss sat down and started with "You know how much I like you..." I held back the tears cause how unprofessional is that? It's just a really weird feeling to be let go and the knee jerk reaction (for me) is to cry. Anyway, we've said our goodbyes and he will keep me as a contractor for any research that comes up (the only part I liked about my job). I do wholeheartedly believe that things happen that push you toward bigger and better things. I won't say "things happen for a reason" cause I hate that saying. Tomato, tomatoe.

Anyway, that's life today. Hoping for the best with the Leapforce test and I'll take it from there. I also want to start a pet sitting business. I love dogs more than people and would really enjoy that, just need the shove to get started and the courage to believe I can do it.

Happy September!

It finally feels like Fall is on the way. Well, not by noon it won't, but it was actually just a tiny bit chilly this morning while I walked the dogs, so pleasant and energizing.

So, what better be my final surgery is on Tuesday. Had my pre-op appointment Monday. Nothing new to report. We talked about going down 50cc's at the most. I'm good with that. We talked about pain, and restrictions and I once again begin to worry about the housework. But this time so much less than before. I think I've just begun to realize how fast time passes and that four weeks, is really nothing. Dr. B asks "So, are you excited?" I don't think excited is the word. Anxious and ready is more like it. I could see my boobs bobbing along out of the corner of my eye, as I walked the dogs. No more of that I hope.

Casey had her first soccer practice last night. Cutest thing ever. Go Sparkle Ponies! What's even cuter is her enthusiasm. Each time they came off the field for water, she would announce "I am so good at soccer." I love it. After practice we hung around, just for a minute. The sun was at a perfect angle and I saw my kids walking toward me, together, smiling. I swear it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen, ever. Man I love my kids.

Best song I heard on my walk this morning: Forever Young by Bob Dylan. When Dylan was born, some friends of my parents had written out the words to the song on a card (you know, with his name being Dylan and all). It really is a lovely song and has had a special place in my heart ever since.

True to form, I have stopped running. I just don't see the point with surgery ready to catapult me back to square one with fitness.

Happy early Fall, I love this time of year.