Waiting

Waiting. for the biopsy results. I feel my life is on pause until the phone rings. Up until the procedure, and really up until today, I have been really positive. Well, not positive really, but I just didn't give it a second thought, didn't care. If you want to call that positive, then do, but maybe it's denial. Either way, couldn't make myself dress for work, so here I am, waiting. It's not even excruciating, that would mean I felt something. This is like a dull numb, like I said with life on pause. I know I will be extremely upset if I waste today. A day with no kids. I should either do something productive, or something fun, but here I sit. Doing nothing. ring-phone- ring. Sad thing is that it may even be tomorrow when I get the call. How am I going to make it through today? OK, off to be productive for a while, then maybe a walk. gotta get going.