I meant to post yesterday, like it was some big milestone and I'd have something rather prolific to say, but the day got away from me and it turned out to be a day just like any other.
So, it's been a year. A year since they took my breasts. It's been one hell of a year and I've gone from utterly devestated to giddingly thankful only to land somewhere in between. I think there's a touch of bitterness left but otherwise still good. I miss my breasts but I don't pine for them. I still don't have nips so I guess even after a year I am not complete. Nips are coming in December with tattooing next year. Everyone was right, it does take a year. I was in such denial and had to tell myself that no, for me things would be different. For me, it would only be 3 months at the most, and then I'll have my life back. I've still got some healing to do. More emotionally than physically. I still am not comfortable with my new look. I was never much of an exhibitionist, but I keep my shirt on all the time. Like all the time.
I am happy overall with the size and shape and they've settled in nicely. After my last race, it took a good 2-3 weeks for my rib pain to dissapate, but it has and I am finally back at running at it feels so good. Of course the same 2-3 pounds that keep visiting me are back but I'm working again at shedding them. It's just next to impossible without being able to exercise.
Life in general is good otherwise. I'm plugging away little by little at getting Rocky Mountain Dog Runner up and running and will market more after the holidays. Still collecting un-employment and the search for a job will begin again in January. It's been nice to be able to take a break and breathe. I've been able to get to things around the house that needed to be done and to take my time getting my business up and running. I feel extremely lucky and know it won't last so I'm taking full advantage.
Caseyism for today: "Mom, how did you and dad make me?" Me: "With love" Casey: "So, hugs and kisses.... and a hammer?" Me: "Yep, just like that"
Sounds like you're doing great, Beth; mentally and physcially. Great to hear you're back running and feeling good. For me, a year will be Nov 23 and I'll be in full swing with preparing to have 20+ family members at my house for Thanksgiving. I know my family will be offering a lot of thanks for finding the cancer early. Part of me will be agreeing whole heartedly. Part of me will be sad the whole thing ever had to happen to me. So I really get what you mean about somewhere in between utterly devestated and giddingly thankful.
ReplyDeleteSo anyway, go out there and hit the ball out of the park with the Rocky Mountain Dog Runner. What a great idea. And lots of vibes for you to find a "day job" that you like and feel good about.