So, you may notice how glowing I am. Or how thin, or how happy and I have to say "it's the green drink" OK, no one has said anything, or noticed even, but I have. I feel better and I feel like I look better which gives me confidence, and isn't that the ultimate beauty secret?
After three weeks of no animal products (which I do anyway), no sugar, no alcohol, no caffiene or gluten, I have decided that this way of eating is so so good for me. For my body, my skin and my soul. I start every morning with a lovely green smoothie made up of cucumbers, kale, spinach, lettuce, celery, protein powder and some fruit. It's more vegetables than I've had in my entire life, seriously. I was always a joke being a vegetarian who doesn't like vegetables. I still don't, but this drink makes it easy. I've struggled with my skin for years and years and always knew there was a connection between what you eat, and the condition of your skin but never had the will power to really do something about it to test the theory. I hit rock bottom after a trip to Disney and a week of nasty Disney food. I wore the condition of my body on my skin. That's when I started the cleanse and what a difference! I'm in complete shock and awe of what a little (a lot) healthy eating can do. I don't have the genes for beautiful flawless skin, but now I know it's the best it can be, and I'm happy with that.
I lost a few pounds, just enough to make me feel lighter and for my jeans to fit better.
Life is good. The family has gone vegetarian-ish and it makes my heart sing. They're not perfect but it's a process and they're trying. If we come out of this with less meat, less dairy, and more health, that's enough for me.
Anxiously awaiting Spring so the weather can match my mood.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Feeling good
Feeling pretty good one day out. My abdomen is sore, but basically good. One percocet yesterday evening as I began to regain feeling after the anesthesia and also had a headache. I felt so good yesterday that I thought I could go walk the dogs I'm sitting. I forgot that it takes a while for percocet to really kick in and when it does, I get dizzy. My sweet husband walked them for me and I came over and fed them. Of course he comments "Four years I've been working at Mercury, and not once have you gone to work for me." ha!
I spent last night nauseous and whiny so I went to bed with Casey at 8:00. Now up at 6:00 and no meds yet. I think it's going to be a good day but I will remind myself not to overdo it.
There is some bleeding through the bandages, but I think that's ok, as long as it's not "excessive". My biggest fear is that the nips will be cockeyed. I moved one of the sensors Dr. B used to place the nipples and I hope I kept it even. Oh well, I trust he's done it right.
I spent last night nauseous and whiny so I went to bed with Casey at 8:00. Now up at 6:00 and no meds yet. I think it's going to be a good day but I will remind myself not to overdo it.
There is some bleeding through the bandages, but I think that's ok, as long as it's not "excessive". My biggest fear is that the nips will be cockeyed. I moved one of the sensors Dr. B used to place the nipples and I hope I kept it even. Oh well, I trust he's done it right.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Living the dream
So, I have my first Rocky Mountain Dog Runner client and I couldn't be happier! It's a neighbor, but that counts, right? They have two large, sweet, excited dogs and since they travel a lot, they have hired me to walk/run/petsit for this week. I've been taking them for a run in the morning and a walk in the evening with love and food in between. After the first run, I came in the door, smiling and sweaty and announced "I'm getting paid for this!" I just love it and hope it continues.
The dogs pull me the entire run, so it's like running with my brakes on so I don't fall forward, but it's been great for my legs. I was thinking that my regular runs were a bit too "easy" and I needed a challenge, well, I got it. I had a hard time walking after the first session.
Now all I need is one or two more clients and I'm set. So, so happy and thank you to my wonderful friend and neighbor Emily who makes this possible by helping with my kids while I watch the dogs.
This couldn't have come at a better time as I struggled with the whole not working thing. Just what I needed to adjust my attitude for the holidays.
The dogs pull me the entire run, so it's like running with my brakes on so I don't fall forward, but it's been great for my legs. I was thinking that my regular runs were a bit too "easy" and I needed a challenge, well, I got it. I had a hard time walking after the first session.
Now all I need is one or two more clients and I'm set. So, so happy and thank you to my wonderful friend and neighbor Emily who makes this possible by helping with my kids while I watch the dogs.
This couldn't have come at a better time as I struggled with the whole not working thing. Just what I needed to adjust my attitude for the holidays.
Monday, November 29, 2010
a sad day
So, anyone who knows me knows how much I love animals. I mean love love. I know I'm wired differently, and I'm ok with that. I like animals more than people. Sure, I love my people, but give me a stranger and an animal, it's a toss up. I've seen the evil people are capable of. Animals are not.
Anyway, Friday was especially tragic and was a real live nightmare for me. We hit a deer coming home from my parent's cabin after cutting down our Christmas tree. We were going down the dirt road outside of Larkspur as we had hundreds of times. We usually spot deer on our drive, but this time, both Corey and I turned for a split second to admire a cabin we'd like and when I turned around, there it was. A beautiful young buck, inches from the front of our truck, trying to cross the road. I immediately closed my eyes and curled in the fetal position, not believing what was happening. There was no time for brakes. We hit it. Luckily the kids were looking down messing with their music and felt the bump. They are wired much like me and I fear how that would have affected them had they seen it. Dylan kept saying, "what's wrong with mom?" as I sobbed. We turned the truck around and parked so we could assess the damage, both to the deer and the truck (which I didn't care about).
Corey and I got out of the truck and began walking back down the road. I didn't see the deer and naively hoped he had hopped on, that we didn't hit it that hard. Corey walked back to the truck to get to the kids and I kept walking the side of the road. Then I saw it, lying in the ditch. I crumpled. I kept getting closer, hoping to see it not breathing. But damn, it was breathing. I crept closer as my instinct was to to hug it and pet it and tell it everything is going to be ok. I stopped cause I didn't want to scare the poor thing. He lifted his head and I just stayed there, bent over bawling. Corey motioned me back to the truck. Now what?! We were both distraught. We knew the animal needed to be put down out of it's misery. We figured, this is Larkspur, surely most people around here hunt. And so began our search for someone to humanly end it's life. We ended up at the fire station and called the sheriff from there. She didn't know how long before someone could come out so we stopped at the gas station. Luckily, we found a hunter. Corey pleaded with him to go back and put the poor deer out of his misery. He agreed and we felt better, just a little.
We ended up going back to meet the deputy at the scene. I stayed in the truck while Corey and the officer went up to the deer. He had expired on his own in those 30 minutes. Corey knelt down next to the deer, pet it and told him he was sorry. He wondered if the officer had ever seen someone apologize to a deer.
The rest of the day was pretty dismal. Corey was surprised how hard it was on him. I know that being with me for 12 years has a lot to do with that. My son drew me a picture, both my kids knew how hard I was taking this. The picture was the truck, Corey and the deer with Corey saying "I'm sorry" and the deer says "It's ok". I hugged him tight and said "you really get me, don't you." He said yes, and he does. I love that boy. He was worried about telling his friend Hadley. He said she'll probably be as upset as me. Hadley loves animals like I do and I wish she were mine. Casey made me a princess flag by taping a picture she drew to a marker. I'm glad she didn't fully understand what happened.
The officer said that if the hunter showed up, he could have the meat and if not, it would be processed and given to the shelter. At least there is some use of a tragedy.
I'm sorry sweet deer. Rest in peace.
Anyway, Friday was especially tragic and was a real live nightmare for me. We hit a deer coming home from my parent's cabin after cutting down our Christmas tree. We were going down the dirt road outside of Larkspur as we had hundreds of times. We usually spot deer on our drive, but this time, both Corey and I turned for a split second to admire a cabin we'd like and when I turned around, there it was. A beautiful young buck, inches from the front of our truck, trying to cross the road. I immediately closed my eyes and curled in the fetal position, not believing what was happening. There was no time for brakes. We hit it. Luckily the kids were looking down messing with their music and felt the bump. They are wired much like me and I fear how that would have affected them had they seen it. Dylan kept saying, "what's wrong with mom?" as I sobbed. We turned the truck around and parked so we could assess the damage, both to the deer and the truck (which I didn't care about).
Corey and I got out of the truck and began walking back down the road. I didn't see the deer and naively hoped he had hopped on, that we didn't hit it that hard. Corey walked back to the truck to get to the kids and I kept walking the side of the road. Then I saw it, lying in the ditch. I crumpled. I kept getting closer, hoping to see it not breathing. But damn, it was breathing. I crept closer as my instinct was to to hug it and pet it and tell it everything is going to be ok. I stopped cause I didn't want to scare the poor thing. He lifted his head and I just stayed there, bent over bawling. Corey motioned me back to the truck. Now what?! We were both distraught. We knew the animal needed to be put down out of it's misery. We figured, this is Larkspur, surely most people around here hunt. And so began our search for someone to humanly end it's life. We ended up at the fire station and called the sheriff from there. She didn't know how long before someone could come out so we stopped at the gas station. Luckily, we found a hunter. Corey pleaded with him to go back and put the poor deer out of his misery. He agreed and we felt better, just a little.
We ended up going back to meet the deputy at the scene. I stayed in the truck while Corey and the officer went up to the deer. He had expired on his own in those 30 minutes. Corey knelt down next to the deer, pet it and told him he was sorry. He wondered if the officer had ever seen someone apologize to a deer.
The rest of the day was pretty dismal. Corey was surprised how hard it was on him. I know that being with me for 12 years has a lot to do with that. My son drew me a picture, both my kids knew how hard I was taking this. The picture was the truck, Corey and the deer with Corey saying "I'm sorry" and the deer says "It's ok". I hugged him tight and said "you really get me, don't you." He said yes, and he does. I love that boy. He was worried about telling his friend Hadley. He said she'll probably be as upset as me. Hadley loves animals like I do and I wish she were mine. Casey made me a princess flag by taping a picture she drew to a marker. I'm glad she didn't fully understand what happened.
The officer said that if the hunter showed up, he could have the meat and if not, it would be processed and given to the shelter. At least there is some use of a tragedy.
I'm sorry sweet deer. Rest in peace.
Friday, November 12, 2010
A year and a day
I meant to post yesterday, like it was some big milestone and I'd have something rather prolific to say, but the day got away from me and it turned out to be a day just like any other.
So, it's been a year. A year since they took my breasts. It's been one hell of a year and I've gone from utterly devestated to giddingly thankful only to land somewhere in between. I think there's a touch of bitterness left but otherwise still good. I miss my breasts but I don't pine for them. I still don't have nips so I guess even after a year I am not complete. Nips are coming in December with tattooing next year. Everyone was right, it does take a year. I was in such denial and had to tell myself that no, for me things would be different. For me, it would only be 3 months at the most, and then I'll have my life back. I've still got some healing to do. More emotionally than physically. I still am not comfortable with my new look. I was never much of an exhibitionist, but I keep my shirt on all the time. Like all the time.
I am happy overall with the size and shape and they've settled in nicely. After my last race, it took a good 2-3 weeks for my rib pain to dissapate, but it has and I am finally back at running at it feels so good. Of course the same 2-3 pounds that keep visiting me are back but I'm working again at shedding them. It's just next to impossible without being able to exercise.
Life in general is good otherwise. I'm plugging away little by little at getting Rocky Mountain Dog Runner up and running and will market more after the holidays. Still collecting un-employment and the search for a job will begin again in January. It's been nice to be able to take a break and breathe. I've been able to get to things around the house that needed to be done and to take my time getting my business up and running. I feel extremely lucky and know it won't last so I'm taking full advantage.
Caseyism for today: "Mom, how did you and dad make me?" Me: "With love" Casey: "So, hugs and kisses.... and a hammer?" Me: "Yep, just like that"
So, it's been a year. A year since they took my breasts. It's been one hell of a year and I've gone from utterly devestated to giddingly thankful only to land somewhere in between. I think there's a touch of bitterness left but otherwise still good. I miss my breasts but I don't pine for them. I still don't have nips so I guess even after a year I am not complete. Nips are coming in December with tattooing next year. Everyone was right, it does take a year. I was in such denial and had to tell myself that no, for me things would be different. For me, it would only be 3 months at the most, and then I'll have my life back. I've still got some healing to do. More emotionally than physically. I still am not comfortable with my new look. I was never much of an exhibitionist, but I keep my shirt on all the time. Like all the time.
I am happy overall with the size and shape and they've settled in nicely. After my last race, it took a good 2-3 weeks for my rib pain to dissapate, but it has and I am finally back at running at it feels so good. Of course the same 2-3 pounds that keep visiting me are back but I'm working again at shedding them. It's just next to impossible without being able to exercise.
Life in general is good otherwise. I'm plugging away little by little at getting Rocky Mountain Dog Runner up and running and will market more after the holidays. Still collecting un-employment and the search for a job will begin again in January. It's been nice to be able to take a break and breathe. I've been able to get to things around the house that needed to be done and to take my time getting my business up and running. I feel extremely lucky and know it won't last so I'm taking full advantage.
Caseyism for today: "Mom, how did you and dad make me?" Me: "With love" Casey: "So, hugs and kisses.... and a hammer?" Me: "Yep, just like that"
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Three surgeries in the past year, what's your excuse?
I wanted to wear this sign on my back during the Denver Rock n Roll half marathon last weekend. I felt the need to explain why I was so slow. It's not like I'm fast when I'm prepared either, I just have a hard time performing at less than par for me. I also know that no one cares that I'm slow, or why I am. Anyway, I made it through the race. I actually ran most of it and finished at 2:48. My best is 2:13. It was a gorgeous day for 16,000 runners. I as truly inspired by many of the people in the race. I saw at least two women with chemo haircuts, many older folks and one very overweight man hobbling through with a cane. I like to imagine that the race was his new beginning to a better life.
My legs are still stiff (and I am loving that feeling). I am reminded that there actually are muscles in there somewhere. The thing I don't like is that my ribs are incredibly sore, like under my stitches. It kept me from running even more during the race. I ran with my fists jabbed into my ribs at times because that provided some support. They're still sore and had a hard time walking the dogs this morning. I am supposed to start boot camp, but am putting it off until the soreness goes away. I called my PA yesterday just be sure I haven't caused any damage, that the pain I'm feeling is just my body getting back to moving again.
It feels good to be back in the game (again). Hopefully no more setbacks.
My legs are still stiff (and I am loving that feeling). I am reminded that there actually are muscles in there somewhere. The thing I don't like is that my ribs are incredibly sore, like under my stitches. It kept me from running even more during the race. I ran with my fists jabbed into my ribs at times because that provided some support. They're still sore and had a hard time walking the dogs this morning. I am supposed to start boot camp, but am putting it off until the soreness goes away. I called my PA yesterday just be sure I haven't caused any damage, that the pain I'm feeling is just my body getting back to moving again.
It feels good to be back in the game (again). Hopefully no more setbacks.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
a month
I can't believe a whole month has gone by since what better be my final surgery! It flew by. Overall, I am happy with the results. At first they were swollen and my boobs actually had a more "real" look to them, but alas, they are still two grapefruits adhered to my ribs. Smaller grapefruits, but round and unnatural just the same. Oh well. I'm feeling good and normal. I started running again this week. It's sad, pathetic and slow, but I am so glad to be back at it. I've signed up for boot camp for November. I am now regretting it, but need to follow through. It's at one of those places with no music, no tv's, and some hyper, slightly mean, ex-marine running the class. I need this to get me back in shape. I am a total and complete blob.
As for losing my job, it has been the best thing. I cannot believe how much happier I am. I think that place was really bringing me down and although I had a paycheck, it had a way of making me feel stupid and useless. I have since been lucky enough to land a temporary work at home position as a search engine evaluator. It's tedious work, so I'm not getting a ton of hours in, but I'm able to collect some unemployment to make up for my lack of hours. The position will end in 6 months, so I'll need to figure out a new plan by then. They're also very strict about work quality, so it is entirely possible they'll fire me sooner than that.
I have jumped in to working on Rocky Mountain Dog Runner. It's a lot of fun. I've created my facebook page and am working on setting my rates and getting my website going. Corey took some pictures of me with the dogs yesterday for the website. Luckily, he was able to snap some shots that didn't show the dogs pulling me down the trail. I'm taking it slowly since I really don't have the time to do much with Casey here most days. I plan on more on marketing when Casey is in school next Fall. It's weird how much I've been working on this venture. Maybe this one will stick.
I am loving the season and enjoying my family. Corey and I celebrated our 12th anniversary last month. We are still as happy as ever and had a great simple night out.
Happy Fall!
As for losing my job, it has been the best thing. I cannot believe how much happier I am. I think that place was really bringing me down and although I had a paycheck, it had a way of making me feel stupid and useless. I have since been lucky enough to land a temporary work at home position as a search engine evaluator. It's tedious work, so I'm not getting a ton of hours in, but I'm able to collect some unemployment to make up for my lack of hours. The position will end in 6 months, so I'll need to figure out a new plan by then. They're also very strict about work quality, so it is entirely possible they'll fire me sooner than that.
I have jumped in to working on Rocky Mountain Dog Runner. It's a lot of fun. I've created my facebook page and am working on setting my rates and getting my website going. Corey took some pictures of me with the dogs yesterday for the website. Luckily, he was able to snap some shots that didn't show the dogs pulling me down the trail. I'm taking it slowly since I really don't have the time to do much with Casey here most days. I plan on more on marketing when Casey is in school next Fall. It's weird how much I've been working on this venture. Maybe this one will stick.
I am loving the season and enjoying my family. Corey and I celebrated our 12th anniversary last month. We are still as happy as ever and had a great simple night out.
Happy Fall!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
lost my job
You know how they say you can actually make things happen in your life, just by the power of your thoughts? I don't know if it was a little of that and a little of knowing it was coming, but I am officially unemployed. In some ways it sucks, but I think I've been prepared for this. I didn't want to keep coming here and answering the phone, it was exhausting emotionally and depressing. The only worry I have now is money. It's not like I made a whole lot, but it paid for Casey's pre-school, so now the question is whether we can afford to keep her in school. She's four, so she really should be in pre-school. Of course there are ways of finding the money, but it feels like we're tight enough already.
I have an exam starting today to work a temporary job with Leapforce. It's only a 6 month term and I hear the test is really hard, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But, I am a really good test taker for what it's worth. I'm not even sure what that means, but I've always done well on standardized tests and found them easy, so we'll see.
Today has been weird. My boss sat down and started with "You know how much I like you..." I held back the tears cause how unprofessional is that? It's just a really weird feeling to be let go and the knee jerk reaction (for me) is to cry. Anyway, we've said our goodbyes and he will keep me as a contractor for any research that comes up (the only part I liked about my job). I do wholeheartedly believe that things happen that push you toward bigger and better things. I won't say "things happen for a reason" cause I hate that saying. Tomato, tomatoe.
Anyway, that's life today. Hoping for the best with the Leapforce test and I'll take it from there. I also want to start a pet sitting business. I love dogs more than people and would really enjoy that, just need the shove to get started and the courage to believe I can do it.
I have an exam starting today to work a temporary job with Leapforce. It's only a 6 month term and I hear the test is really hard, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But, I am a really good test taker for what it's worth. I'm not even sure what that means, but I've always done well on standardized tests and found them easy, so we'll see.
Today has been weird. My boss sat down and started with "You know how much I like you..." I held back the tears cause how unprofessional is that? It's just a really weird feeling to be let go and the knee jerk reaction (for me) is to cry. Anyway, we've said our goodbyes and he will keep me as a contractor for any research that comes up (the only part I liked about my job). I do wholeheartedly believe that things happen that push you toward bigger and better things. I won't say "things happen for a reason" cause I hate that saying. Tomato, tomatoe.
Anyway, that's life today. Hoping for the best with the Leapforce test and I'll take it from there. I also want to start a pet sitting business. I love dogs more than people and would really enjoy that, just need the shove to get started and the courage to believe I can do it.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Happy September!
It finally feels like Fall is on the way. Well, not by noon it won't, but it was actually just a tiny bit chilly this morning while I walked the dogs, so pleasant and energizing.
So, what better be my final surgery is on Tuesday. Had my pre-op appointment Monday. Nothing new to report. We talked about going down 50cc's at the most. I'm good with that. We talked about pain, and restrictions and I once again begin to worry about the housework. But this time so much less than before. I think I've just begun to realize how fast time passes and that four weeks, is really nothing. Dr. B asks "So, are you excited?" I don't think excited is the word. Anxious and ready is more like it. I could see my boobs bobbing along out of the corner of my eye, as I walked the dogs. No more of that I hope.
Casey had her first soccer practice last night. Cutest thing ever. Go Sparkle Ponies! What's even cuter is her enthusiasm. Each time they came off the field for water, she would announce "I am so good at soccer." I love it. After practice we hung around, just for a minute. The sun was at a perfect angle and I saw my kids walking toward me, together, smiling. I swear it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen, ever. Man I love my kids.
Best song I heard on my walk this morning: Forever Young by Bob Dylan. When Dylan was born, some friends of my parents had written out the words to the song on a card (you know, with his name being Dylan and all). It really is a lovely song and has had a special place in my heart ever since.
True to form, I have stopped running. I just don't see the point with surgery ready to catapult me back to square one with fitness.
Happy early Fall, I love this time of year.
So, what better be my final surgery is on Tuesday. Had my pre-op appointment Monday. Nothing new to report. We talked about going down 50cc's at the most. I'm good with that. We talked about pain, and restrictions and I once again begin to worry about the housework. But this time so much less than before. I think I've just begun to realize how fast time passes and that four weeks, is really nothing. Dr. B asks "So, are you excited?" I don't think excited is the word. Anxious and ready is more like it. I could see my boobs bobbing along out of the corner of my eye, as I walked the dogs. No more of that I hope.
Casey had her first soccer practice last night. Cutest thing ever. Go Sparkle Ponies! What's even cuter is her enthusiasm. Each time they came off the field for water, she would announce "I am so good at soccer." I love it. After practice we hung around, just for a minute. The sun was at a perfect angle and I saw my kids walking toward me, together, smiling. I swear it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen, ever. Man I love my kids.
Best song I heard on my walk this morning: Forever Young by Bob Dylan. When Dylan was born, some friends of my parents had written out the words to the song on a card (you know, with his name being Dylan and all). It really is a lovely song and has had a special place in my heart ever since.
True to form, I have stopped running. I just don't see the point with surgery ready to catapult me back to square one with fitness.
Happy early Fall, I love this time of year.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Fido Fest
There is no happier place for me, than to be surrounded by dogs and the people who love them. We went to Fido Fest in Castle Rock last weekend and pet as many dogs as we could get our hands on. I purchased a double leash for Fletcher and Livvy and we watched the cutest dog contest, which included a beautiful pit bull with the best manners I have ever seen, being directed by a six year old girl. I have a special place in my heart for the breed. They are the most misunderstood and mistreated dog and it just breaks my heart. There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Anyway, after we had enough of the Fest, we decided to pay a visit to the Dumb Friends League across the highway and donate some money and look at the dogs. Dylan fell in love with a puppy that we couldn't have for so many reasons. He stood there, in the middle of the dog enclosure, crying and hugging me. My only response was to cry with him and stroke his hair. If I could, I'd save them all. Poor little angels. People suck.
We came home and showered our three current canines with hugs and kisses and the promise to take care of them as best we can.
Casey-isms:
"You can tell which room is Dylan's because of the bump-head" (bunk bed)
"Mom, I bless you'd in the hall" (sneezed)
"Hey, wanna play 'sticker, sticker, what's your game?'" (wha??)
Friday, August 13, 2010
sad, sad display
I like to consider myself an athlete, at least a little bit, having run 8 half marathons, one full and countless 5K and 10K but this morning would beg to differ.
I decided that I would strap Casey on the back of my purple Wal-Mart bike and ride with Dylan to school. It's only about a mile, but boy what a mile. At the time I committed to this, I didn't realize the hills I would encounter. I went with a friend from around the corner who has four kids and is training for a triathlon. I'm not sure she's human. I asked her not to laugh at me (like my husband would) but that I'd give it a try.
I made it with one walking break on the way home. I am pale, sweaty and nauseous, like a first day Biggest Loser contestant. Dylan made it just fine and I am proud of our efforts to get a little exercise and fresh air and save a buck from riding the bus.
Unfortunately, I have to do it all again to pick him up from school.
I decided that I would strap Casey on the back of my purple Wal-Mart bike and ride with Dylan to school. It's only about a mile, but boy what a mile. At the time I committed to this, I didn't realize the hills I would encounter. I went with a friend from around the corner who has four kids and is training for a triathlon. I'm not sure she's human. I asked her not to laugh at me (like my husband would) but that I'd give it a try.
I made it with one walking break on the way home. I am pale, sweaty and nauseous, like a first day Biggest Loser contestant. Dylan made it just fine and I am proud of our efforts to get a little exercise and fresh air and save a buck from riding the bus.
Unfortunately, I have to do it all again to pick him up from school.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Gymnastics
I have this son, who really has no interest in playing sports. He's wiry and energetic, so I know he's got some potential in there somewhere. I feel like we have tried it all and nothing has stuck. We have done soccer (3 times) football (2 times) baseball, ice skating, Tae Kwon Do (3 times) and signed him up for a 5K race which he never made it to. It is becoming increasingly frustrating. I just want the kid to find his "thing". Something he's pretty good at, and is willing to work at. I get chills seeing other kids succeed in sports and understand how proud his parents must feel.
Dylan will be nine in a few weeks and it is time for him to find his place, before everyone exceeds him (cause they've been doing it since they could walk).
Our latest experiment is gymnastics. We took him last night for a trial class. I watched as the boys who are good enough to compete were practicing. I was amazed at the strength and fludity of their moves. I was watching these kids practice so hard, over and over. They want to exceed, all on their own. That's all I want for D. To have something he gives a crap about. I don't even care if he's good, but for him to have the drive to practice would be enough. I love to run. I'm not fast, but I love to run. That's all.
Corey and I watched while the coach worked with him. That boy is a true beginner. We commented how he looked like a windsock, legs flailing about, no form whatsoever and tongue outside his lips to help him concentrate. He came off the floor sweaty and smiling. Mission accomplished, he starts next week. I know this is only the first session, but I honestly have not seen him so excited about a sport, ever. I am beaming with pride and hope. Let's hope it sticks.
Dylan will be nine in a few weeks and it is time for him to find his place, before everyone exceeds him (cause they've been doing it since they could walk).
Our latest experiment is gymnastics. We took him last night for a trial class. I watched as the boys who are good enough to compete were practicing. I was amazed at the strength and fludity of their moves. I was watching these kids practice so hard, over and over. They want to exceed, all on their own. That's all I want for D. To have something he gives a crap about. I don't even care if he's good, but for him to have the drive to practice would be enough. I love to run. I'm not fast, but I love to run. That's all.
Corey and I watched while the coach worked with him. That boy is a true beginner. We commented how he looked like a windsock, legs flailing about, no form whatsoever and tongue outside his lips to help him concentrate. He came off the floor sweaty and smiling. Mission accomplished, he starts next week. I know this is only the first session, but I honestly have not seen him so excited about a sport, ever. I am beaming with pride and hope. Let's hope it sticks.
Monday, August 2, 2010
crappy day... pleasant night
So, things have been all around crappy lately. Nothing really in particular; the end of summer, my flippin' stress fracture, worries about looking for a new job and money. You know, the usual.
Tonight has been lovely though. Well, lovely after the part where Dylan got in major trouble, sent to his room and lost Wii for three days. After dinner, sometimes the kids and I like to go for a walk. When things have finally cooled down and to waste a little time before the late summer bedtime. Tonight, it started to rain, but it didn't stop us. We popped some popcorn to take along in some old gift bags and threw on our rain jackets. It was heavenly. Then it poured and we headed home. Corey came to find us to see if we needed a ride. Silly man. He also made me take the umbrella which he knew I wouldn't use. I'm from Colorado. We don't use umbrellas. period.
When we got back home, we listened to rather loud music. The kids sitting on the kitchen counter and me folding laundry. Then Dylan moved to the couch to read SkyMall. I know, I know, but at least he's reading.
Anyway, a perfect summer night. As long as the kids don't screw it up by being obnoxious about going to bed, it will all end well.
Tonight has been lovely though. Well, lovely after the part where Dylan got in major trouble, sent to his room and lost Wii for three days. After dinner, sometimes the kids and I like to go for a walk. When things have finally cooled down and to waste a little time before the late summer bedtime. Tonight, it started to rain, but it didn't stop us. We popped some popcorn to take along in some old gift bags and threw on our rain jackets. It was heavenly. Then it poured and we headed home. Corey came to find us to see if we needed a ride. Silly man. He also made me take the umbrella which he knew I wouldn't use. I'm from Colorado. We don't use umbrellas. period.
When we got back home, we listened to rather loud music. The kids sitting on the kitchen counter and me folding laundry. Then Dylan moved to the couch to read SkyMall. I know, I know, but at least he's reading.
Anyway, a perfect summer night. As long as the kids don't screw it up by being obnoxious about going to bed, it will all end well.
Monday, July 26, 2010
&*%$# stress fracture
Stress fracture is back. I was just getting back into running and exercise, and it's back. This sucks. Not an easy way to lose weight when you can't burn any calories. I think I've decided to go ahead with the nipples ASAP since I'm out of commission anyway, exercise wise. I have been thinking about going smaller though before I get the nips done. My issue though is that if the base of the implant is the same size no matter what, then it does me no good, that would just make for flatter pancakes. I think I'll call my PA again. :)
Watching my calories very carefully. I can do this, I know I can.
Watching my calories very carefully. I can do this, I know I can.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
It's on!
What's on is my quest to be fit again. Let me first say that this is the first time in history where no weight was gained on vacation. I'm in shock. I've even made my kids get on the scale to make sure it's accurate. I think being vegan in the South helped a bit with this one. No cookies my skinny sister in law made, no ice cream at the beach (which I truly missed, as an experience), no real entrees except veggie burgers and vegetables. My mother in law was so sweet to cater to my restrictions. Instead of using butter to cook her vegetables, she used Crisco. Thank you (I think).
Anyway, so yesterday, my son Dylan looks at me as I'm waving my arm and points to it and giggles and says "jiggle jiggle". If that's not a hint that I need to exercise... I can't even repeat what he said about my thighs. I'm still trying to erase that one from my memory.
My foot is better and I have been back to running, ever so slowly. I don't want to risk re-injury. I'm only up to 2 miles and am going for 3 this weekend. I am just so damn happy to be running again. I actually smile when I know it's a running morning. I took my two insanely crazy dogs running this morning. It used to be just Fletcher, but Livvy has caught on and I can't look at her face and not take her too. I know we look like a circus act running down the street. This is how my morning goes: 5:30-6:00am, my big dog rams the side of the bed and nudges my hand with his wet nose until I get up. Both he and Livvy race down the stairs and are literally underfoot as I get my running clothes on. Fletcher runs around with one sock or the other in his mouth until I yank it from his mouth and put the wet thing on. Then we head out. It's nutty, but it makes me smile to see them both so happy.
So, I'm on the quest to finally lose 4 pounds and tighten up. This is it. No more excuses.
On the boob front, they seem to be getting lower, like the whole thing is slipping. I know my PA thinks I've lost it and let me schedule a pity appointment. We'll see what they say. She did say Dr. B could fix it at my nipple construction.
Happy Summer!
Anyway, so yesterday, my son Dylan looks at me as I'm waving my arm and points to it and giggles and says "jiggle jiggle". If that's not a hint that I need to exercise... I can't even repeat what he said about my thighs. I'm still trying to erase that one from my memory.
My foot is better and I have been back to running, ever so slowly. I don't want to risk re-injury. I'm only up to 2 miles and am going for 3 this weekend. I am just so damn happy to be running again. I actually smile when I know it's a running morning. I took my two insanely crazy dogs running this morning. It used to be just Fletcher, but Livvy has caught on and I can't look at her face and not take her too. I know we look like a circus act running down the street. This is how my morning goes: 5:30-6:00am, my big dog rams the side of the bed and nudges my hand with his wet nose until I get up. Both he and Livvy race down the stairs and are literally underfoot as I get my running clothes on. Fletcher runs around with one sock or the other in his mouth until I yank it from his mouth and put the wet thing on. Then we head out. It's nutty, but it makes me smile to see them both so happy.
So, I'm on the quest to finally lose 4 pounds and tighten up. This is it. No more excuses.
On the boob front, they seem to be getting lower, like the whole thing is slipping. I know my PA thinks I've lost it and let me schedule a pity appointment. We'll see what they say. She did say Dr. B could fix it at my nipple construction.
Happy Summer!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
don't yell at my dogs
So, I walk my dogs, 2 out of 3, almost every morning. I'm the first to admit they're obnoxious. It's like walking a marionette, with one string pulling this way, one pulling that, and getting tangled in the process. Fletcher has been to doggie school, though you wouldn't know it by the looks of him on a leash and Olivia is just a hopping barking mess. Anyway, we walk past this old man at the tennis court, and Fletcher of course sticks his nose in this man's tennis bag as we walk past. I pull him out, all the while Livvy is barking and hopping toward the man on her tight leash. He lunges toward her yelling "Get out of here!! Get out of here!!" I turn around and scream "DON'T YELL AT MY DOG!" Great way to start the morning, don't ya think? Wish I would have followed up with "lighten up, life's too short" to maybe put into perspective what an asshole he was being.
Anyway, moving on. I have to mention how proud I was of Casey last week. She handled herself in a way I never could when it comes to friends. We were at a friends house for "happy hour" (aka moms drink on the porch while the kids play in the yard). She and her friend Anna were coloring. When Casey stepped inside for a moment, Anna proceeded to scribble all over one of the pages already colored. I sat there not knowing what to say and wondering how Casey would react. Casey returned, saw the scribble and her bottom lip poked out, her brow furrowed and she looked at me like she was going to cry. She then said to Anna "You ruined it". Then she proceeded to go "Let's find a different page". Way to move on Casey!
Then, here's the good part. Anna began to color and Casey proceeded to scribble on Anna's page to tease her as she had been teased. Anna promptly said "You're not my friend anymore" to which Casey replied "Look around Anna, do you see anyone else to play with? There's no one else here, you have to be my friend."
I just hope this confidence carries her though High School and all the crap that will be thrown at her then. Off to a good start.
Dylan lost another tooth this morning. Poor guy has more holes than teeth at this point. We call him gummy bear, four teeth across the top in a row gone, and now one on the bottom.
Summer is great so far, going by way too quickly, but I am enjoying every moment with my kids. Off to NC next week to see the in-laws and a quick trip to the beach.
Anyway, moving on. I have to mention how proud I was of Casey last week. She handled herself in a way I never could when it comes to friends. We were at a friends house for "happy hour" (aka moms drink on the porch while the kids play in the yard). She and her friend Anna were coloring. When Casey stepped inside for a moment, Anna proceeded to scribble all over one of the pages already colored. I sat there not knowing what to say and wondering how Casey would react. Casey returned, saw the scribble and her bottom lip poked out, her brow furrowed and she looked at me like she was going to cry. She then said to Anna "You ruined it". Then she proceeded to go "Let's find a different page". Way to move on Casey!
Then, here's the good part. Anna began to color and Casey proceeded to scribble on Anna's page to tease her as she had been teased. Anna promptly said "You're not my friend anymore" to which Casey replied "Look around Anna, do you see anyone else to play with? There's no one else here, you have to be my friend."
I just hope this confidence carries her though High School and all the crap that will be thrown at her then. Off to a good start.
Dylan lost another tooth this morning. Poor guy has more holes than teeth at this point. We call him gummy bear, four teeth across the top in a row gone, and now one on the bottom.
Summer is great so far, going by way too quickly, but I am enjoying every moment with my kids. Off to NC next week to see the in-laws and a quick trip to the beach.
Monday, June 14, 2010
catching up
It seems so incredibly long since I've posted a blog, or blogged, or whatever you call it. Life is moving fast and I'm holding on tight. Although there's nothing earth shattering to report, I'm disappointed that I haven't kept up in the interest of keeping track of things I'd like to remember. Like my girls weekend with my ever sweet baby girl and some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth that cracks me up. Like "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest at the mall?"
We dropped Dylan off at his first attempt at sleep away camp. It brought back so many memories of my days at "Rainbow Trail". I think this is ever important for him. To be outdoors, non-stop, with no parents, no tv, no video games. He's in a cabin with 8 other boys (Lord help the counselors) including his cousin. He was grinning from ear to ear as we left him yesterday. On the way home, Casey had a ball declaring all that we were going to do since she was the only child. "Dad, when we get home, we're playing house. Do you want to be the dog, or the kitty?" She gets a real kick out of being the only kid. Life was so much less stressful last night, just the three of us. It's a nice break. It would have been the same if Casey had gone away, just one less child really slows the pace.
I haven't run in close to 6 weeks. I have a stress fracture in my foot (or so I've self-diagnosed). It appears to be getting better, but every time I think it's better, it comes back. Needless to say, I have never wanted to run so badly in my life! I'm soft, very soft and a few pounds heavier. Oh well, could be worse I suppose.
I have decided that I am sick of the suburbs. I don't know that moving is an option, but I just don't feel myself sometimes. I took the kids to the zoo last week and my heart skips a beat as I drive through those neighborhoods closer to town. We drove by our old house. The one Corey and I lived in until Dylan was six months, and also the one I grew up in. The tree lined sidewalks, the older houses with character, the little flower shop within walking distance. *sigh* I just miss it so and sometimes think there's more people like me there. I do have some wonderful friends and neighbors here and the kids are happy, so it's doubtful anything will come of it. Bloom where you are planted. At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.
We dropped Dylan off at his first attempt at sleep away camp. It brought back so many memories of my days at "Rainbow Trail". I think this is ever important for him. To be outdoors, non-stop, with no parents, no tv, no video games. He's in a cabin with 8 other boys (Lord help the counselors) including his cousin. He was grinning from ear to ear as we left him yesterday. On the way home, Casey had a ball declaring all that we were going to do since she was the only child. "Dad, when we get home, we're playing house. Do you want to be the dog, or the kitty?" She gets a real kick out of being the only kid. Life was so much less stressful last night, just the three of us. It's a nice break. It would have been the same if Casey had gone away, just one less child really slows the pace.
I haven't run in close to 6 weeks. I have a stress fracture in my foot (or so I've self-diagnosed). It appears to be getting better, but every time I think it's better, it comes back. Needless to say, I have never wanted to run so badly in my life! I'm soft, very soft and a few pounds heavier. Oh well, could be worse I suppose.
I have decided that I am sick of the suburbs. I don't know that moving is an option, but I just don't feel myself sometimes. I took the kids to the zoo last week and my heart skips a beat as I drive through those neighborhoods closer to town. We drove by our old house. The one Corey and I lived in until Dylan was six months, and also the one I grew up in. The tree lined sidewalks, the older houses with character, the little flower shop within walking distance. *sigh* I just miss it so and sometimes think there's more people like me there. I do have some wonderful friends and neighbors here and the kids are happy, so it's doubtful anything will come of it. Bloom where you are planted. At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
AZ
Ahhh, mini vacay in Scottsdale. It's lovely down here, especially in contrast to the Seattleish weather Denver has been having. When I waiting for the shuttle bus in Denver, cold and rainy, again. I didn't get in until last night, so I haven't been here in the heat of the day, but it feels tropical even though it's incredibly dry. Warm breeze, sitting in the shade as the sun goes down, drinking oh so many Greyhounds.
Corey is here for work, so this is the cheap couples alternative. Just a plane ticket for me and free hotel and meals through Corey. It's perfect. My parents are with my kids which I have to continually put out of my mind and just assume it's going smoothly. I told Dylan not to pull this bickering crap with my parents cause they're old and can't handle it as beautifully as I do (ha!). He just says "old people are fun!"
I met up with one of my favorite people, KC, last night. She lives here and we used to work together in Charlotte. We were out partying most of the nights we were together in Charlotte. Sundays were big for us. Drinks by the dinky little pool at my apartment, then head on down the road to drink outdoors at our favorite bar where we'd order things like cheese fries. Last night there was no shortage on drinks, but chips and salsa replaced the cheese fries and somewhat mature conversations emerged. You know, kids, fitness, husbands, etc. KC just turned 40 and I have to say she is the hottest 40 year old I know. She looks amazing, probably better than when we hung out at 20 something. I'll have to post a picture. We tried to get Corey to take one last night, but it was a joke. Couldn't get it quite right. Going to try and meet up with her again and see her house and meet her little girls.
Anyway, I'm babbling in my little hung over stupor. Looking forward to some kid free time with Corey and a more subdued evening. Then it's back to Denver tomorrow morning. Short, but sweet and believe it or not, I do miss those kids already. Sad, I know.
Corey is here for work, so this is the cheap couples alternative. Just a plane ticket for me and free hotel and meals through Corey. It's perfect. My parents are with my kids which I have to continually put out of my mind and just assume it's going smoothly. I told Dylan not to pull this bickering crap with my parents cause they're old and can't handle it as beautifully as I do (ha!). He just says "old people are fun!"
I met up with one of my favorite people, KC, last night. She lives here and we used to work together in Charlotte. We were out partying most of the nights we were together in Charlotte. Sundays were big for us. Drinks by the dinky little pool at my apartment, then head on down the road to drink outdoors at our favorite bar where we'd order things like cheese fries. Last night there was no shortage on drinks, but chips and salsa replaced the cheese fries and somewhat mature conversations emerged. You know, kids, fitness, husbands, etc. KC just turned 40 and I have to say she is the hottest 40 year old I know. She looks amazing, probably better than when we hung out at 20 something. I'll have to post a picture. We tried to get Corey to take one last night, but it was a joke. Couldn't get it quite right. Going to try and meet up with her again and see her house and meet her little girls.
Anyway, I'm babbling in my little hung over stupor. Looking forward to some kid free time with Corey and a more subdued evening. Then it's back to Denver tomorrow morning. Short, but sweet and believe it or not, I do miss those kids already. Sad, I know.
Monday, May 10, 2010
giddy
I feel really happy in the first time in sooo long. I would even venture to say I feel giddy. It's great because just like the sadness, I can't really pinpoint why, I just am. I had a perfect Mother's Day. My sister and her three kids came and spent the night with us on Saturday. Sunday morning, we both got to sleep in while my husband got up with the 5 kids and made us toast and fruit. Actually, it turns out the kids watched Scooby Doo while he made the breakfast, but hey, it was their idea, so that counts, right?
I bought myself flowers on Friday. I think I should always have fresh flowers in my house, what a difference it makes. Anyway, there wasn't anything particularly outstanding about yesterday, but just some great family time outside. I am very grateful and happy to be a mama.
I watched The Blind Side with my sister on Saturday night. Wow, what a great movie. I love the woman Sandra Bullock played. She doesn't take any shit and does the right thing, no matter the consequences. Shouldn't we all be a little more like that? Corey told me he wanted to adopt a black baby after seeing it. He doesn't know he really shouldn't mention things to me like that, cause I just might run with it.
I got a disastrous haircut on Saturday. I have been through more stylists than I can count. I have crazy curly/straight/coarse/unruly hair so when I find someone I like, I stick with them, well, until they screw up. I haven't had my hair highlighted in over a year because the last time I went, they gave me ASH BLONDE highlights, like all over. My hair is so dark it's almost black. Ash blonde is not a good match. I looked about 70 years old when I left and took myself promptly to the grocery store for a bottle of plain old brown to cover the mess.
Sooo, I signed up for highlights again, this time with a girl who has cut my hair 2-3 times, and I've been really happy. She asked me to be her "model" since she was trying to get on at a new salon and would cut me a deal in doing so.
We talked caramel color highlights. Long story short, she took the towel off and low and behold, we've got ash blonde. I hated to be a pain but asked her to tone it again. This time it came out better, but not great. It's very flat and dull. My hair looks like it's been through a dust storm. THEN, I ask for her to trim me up some bangs. She promptly cuts straight across ABOVE my eyebrows. I have Katy Perry bangs and seeing as I'm not some 20 something cool rocker chick, I look like a dork. They'll grow, no harm done, but to top it off, there was no discount. What?? After all that and 4 hours later, you're going to charge me $110? I didn't leave her a tip. I didn't mean not to, seriously, but I think I was so shocked at the cost, that I subconsciously didn't. I can't ever go back and my quest for a hairstylist continues.
Oh well, nothing is going to get in the way of my giddyness.
I bought myself flowers on Friday. I think I should always have fresh flowers in my house, what a difference it makes. Anyway, there wasn't anything particularly outstanding about yesterday, but just some great family time outside. I am very grateful and happy to be a mama.
I watched The Blind Side with my sister on Saturday night. Wow, what a great movie. I love the woman Sandra Bullock played. She doesn't take any shit and does the right thing, no matter the consequences. Shouldn't we all be a little more like that? Corey told me he wanted to adopt a black baby after seeing it. He doesn't know he really shouldn't mention things to me like that, cause I just might run with it.
I got a disastrous haircut on Saturday. I have been through more stylists than I can count. I have crazy curly/straight/coarse/unruly hair so when I find someone I like, I stick with them, well, until they screw up. I haven't had my hair highlighted in over a year because the last time I went, they gave me ASH BLONDE highlights, like all over. My hair is so dark it's almost black. Ash blonde is not a good match. I looked about 70 years old when I left and took myself promptly to the grocery store for a bottle of plain old brown to cover the mess.
Sooo, I signed up for highlights again, this time with a girl who has cut my hair 2-3 times, and I've been really happy. She asked me to be her "model" since she was trying to get on at a new salon and would cut me a deal in doing so.
We talked caramel color highlights. Long story short, she took the towel off and low and behold, we've got ash blonde. I hated to be a pain but asked her to tone it again. This time it came out better, but not great. It's very flat and dull. My hair looks like it's been through a dust storm. THEN, I ask for her to trim me up some bangs. She promptly cuts straight across ABOVE my eyebrows. I have Katy Perry bangs and seeing as I'm not some 20 something cool rocker chick, I look like a dork. They'll grow, no harm done, but to top it off, there was no discount. What?? After all that and 4 hours later, you're going to charge me $110? I didn't leave her a tip. I didn't mean not to, seriously, but I think I was so shocked at the cost, that I subconsciously didn't. I can't ever go back and my quest for a hairstylist continues.
Oh well, nothing is going to get in the way of my giddyness.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
can't sleep....
Feeling unappreciated. As we're going to bed tonight, Corey checks and sees that the dogs have no water. He then begins to scold me. Of course I know it's important, those furry things are children to me, but somehow it gets overlooked from time to time. I tell him that he lives here too and he goes on to tell me how he's only here 2 hours a day, and that I'm basically here all the time. I'm pissed because I do E V E R Y T H I N G around here, or so it seems. Sure, Corey goes through spurts where he's super helpful, but it's not consistent. He took up the laundry duties after my first surgery, but that has really dropped off and he'd end up trying to do it all in one day and we'd have varying degress of laundry doneness hanging around and since I am the "putter awayer", that wasn't working out for me. I have since taken back that duty.
I know he works hard and long hours and he's tired but I don't forget to tell him how much we appreciate it. We lay in bed tonight and I tried to explain where I was coming from, that I was feeling unappreciated and could use just a little more help around here. He simply says "we do appreicate you". I didn't feel I'd made my point, so I rattle off everything I do;
pay the bills, check homework, pack lunches, take Casey to school because she sleeps too late for Corey to take her, pick Casey up from school because Corey works too late, clean the kitchen about 100 times a day, plan the meals, cook the meals, clean up from the meals, make the coffee every night for the next day, clean the house, clean the toilets (I'm pretty sure Corey has never cleaned a toilet in his adult life), change the air filter, feed the dogs or make sure Dylan does it, keep track of every piece of paper the kids bring home from school, take care of every piece of mail, plan vacations, send birthday/mothers day/fathers day cards, run all the errands, grocery shop, doctor appointments, dental appointments, keep our calendar straight, sign the kids up for classes, put the kids to bed, clean up the yard (this one Corey does quite often), walk the dogs, work three days a week, and the list continues.
He just listened and even inserted a job here and there as I rattled away. But what I was looking for was a realization, a real apology and a promise to do just a little. I don't expect much. As a part time stay at home mom and control freak, I happily assume most responsibility. But what would be nice is getting your beer bottle and popcorn bowl to the kitchen at the end of the night, not leaving your clothes in a heap on the floor for the laundry fairy to find and take care of, putting the kids to bed now and then. But no, he was done and promptly fell asleep, so that leaves me here, too agitated to sleep.
I know it's the same story us moms have been dealing with forever and sounds so cliche, but damn it, it's true. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow we'll have a new spurt of extreme helpfulness. Let's hope so.
I know he works hard and long hours and he's tired but I don't forget to tell him how much we appreciate it. We lay in bed tonight and I tried to explain where I was coming from, that I was feeling unappreciated and could use just a little more help around here. He simply says "we do appreicate you". I didn't feel I'd made my point, so I rattle off everything I do;
pay the bills, check homework, pack lunches, take Casey to school because she sleeps too late for Corey to take her, pick Casey up from school because Corey works too late, clean the kitchen about 100 times a day, plan the meals, cook the meals, clean up from the meals, make the coffee every night for the next day, clean the house, clean the toilets (I'm pretty sure Corey has never cleaned a toilet in his adult life), change the air filter, feed the dogs or make sure Dylan does it, keep track of every piece of paper the kids bring home from school, take care of every piece of mail, plan vacations, send birthday/mothers day/fathers day cards, run all the errands, grocery shop, doctor appointments, dental appointments, keep our calendar straight, sign the kids up for classes, put the kids to bed, clean up the yard (this one Corey does quite often), walk the dogs, work three days a week, and the list continues.
He just listened and even inserted a job here and there as I rattled away. But what I was looking for was a realization, a real apology and a promise to do just a little. I don't expect much. As a part time stay at home mom and control freak, I happily assume most responsibility. But what would be nice is getting your beer bottle and popcorn bowl to the kitchen at the end of the night, not leaving your clothes in a heap on the floor for the laundry fairy to find and take care of, putting the kids to bed now and then. But no, he was done and promptly fell asleep, so that leaves me here, too agitated to sleep.
I know it's the same story us moms have been dealing with forever and sounds so cliche, but damn it, it's true. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow we'll have a new spurt of extreme helpfulness. Let's hope so.
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