My grandmother, mom's mom, is 96 and not doing well. Latest is that she has lung cancer. I could probably say quite bluntly that she's dying, but I won't. I don't know that she is, but I have to think that at 96, not much is going to get better. It's sad but I am so far removed from her that it's almost like someone is telling me a story of someone I don't know. It's not a bad relationship, on any level, I just don't know her very well and haven't seen her in 5 years I suppose.
I grew up seeing my grandparents only every 2-3 years. We'd talk on the phone, but it was always trite. "How's the weather?" "Did you have a nice Christmas?" Small talk, forced upon me by my parents saying that grandma was on the phone, come talk to her.
When I did see my grandparents though, it was always wonderful. This grandma lived in a gorgeous old house in the cutest suburb of Minneapolis, called Edina. As a child, I always swore I'd grow up and live in that wonderful house on Casco Ave. My mom was the oldest of six and we always marveled at the little rooms they all shared, and especially the small dark hot attic with the tiny hallway where the boys lived, 3 of them. My grandfather was strict and grandma always took up for us. She'd let us scoop vegetables from our plate to hers when his head was turned. I remember blueberries with heavy cream for breakfast on the creaky, screened in back porch. I remember grandma getting up at 5:00am and baking cookies with her knit scarf on- She hadn't had hair for as long as I could remember due to psoriasis. She used to go walking every morning around Lake Harriet which was 3 miles. She amazes me. When we would visit, we'd all suit up for the walk-which was just lovely and ended with popcorn with real butter at the stand on the lake.
She had breast cancer and a mastectomy at some point, then years later another mastectomy. Her husband, my grandfather, died about 10 years ago. He had Alzheimer's. After he died, mom showed me some poetry grandma had written. About her husband, her kids, her life. I had no idea. It gave her depth, more than we give people credit for.
She's been living near family in Seattle now in a home. Things are getting worse. She has taken many falls and doesn't remember much about who is who these days. Mom came over last week announcing that she needs pictures of my kids, right now, to send to Grandma. So sad. I'm more sad for my mom. I'm not ready for her to lose her mom. For me, I'm losing a great person, who I saw from time to time and who loved me very much. But like I said, it's distant. I wish her peace. I know this blog is one big babble, but I felt the need to remember her and not let her death go by without really giving her memories their due time.
It just dawned on me that she's never met Casey. Oh, this is too much...
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