progress day 2

Yesterday ended pretty well. I got into some more treats and had a veggie burger for dinner. Boy I hope these posts evolve into meals that actually include vegetables. I did have some honey roasted peanuts late, but no alcohol. Ended up about 400 calories over, but still within the limit to maintain. I figure I need to wean off the sweets. They're almost gone anyway. Weight today is up 2 pounds, but I know that's not necessarily a reflection of what I did yesterday. Got up and did Wii fit this morning. Not a real calorie blaster, but I'm working on strength, balance and flexibility. Will walk again tomorrow and plan on really starting to run/walk next week. Still very sore in the chest area, almost like the expanders are coming out of place, but then I do a quick check and they haven't moved of course.

Status report

The good, the bad and the ugly so far for my attempt at weight loss today...

The good: Got up at 6:30 and took Fletcher for a power walk. Healthy breakfast of Go Lean cereal and veggie sausage. Took my vitamins. Weight is 2 pounds lighter. black bean burger, no bun for lunch. counting calories.

The bad: The stupid mint chocolate brownies my sister made were just looking at me. Had to eat one this morning. It fits into my calories, although of course not the smartest use of said calories.

The ugly: Saw a home baked cake and home made frosting in the freezer. Took it out to thaw this morning (I swear I was under some external power). Got home from taking Casey to a play date and stood there, jacket still on, scooping up first the frosting with a knife, then the cake. Got about half way through and then mustered up the strength to throw the rest away. See, told you I have a problem.

There it is. So far. It's only 1:40 in the afternoon, so there's still time to salvage or destroy the rest of my day. 158 calories allowed for the rest of the day. That's a tough one. Technically, I can have 658 and still maintain, but since I'm trying to lose, it's 500 less. Was hoping for a little beer tonight. We'll just have to see what I do with the rest of my day. Sometimes I'm ok with little or no dinner in order to make it under my calorie limit, but usually my binges are much closer to dinner time :)

For 2010, I resolve to make more of my calories healthy ones.

I've had it.

I've had it with this weight. I sit here now, unable to breathe because my belly is so tight. I can't see my feet. I'm frustrated. Without a doubt, I have an issue with sweets. I have no limit and can't stop when they're around. I could blame the surgery. I could blame Christmas. But it's me. Just me.

About a year ago, I started training for a marathon with my neighbor and running buddy. At the same time, I decided to start counting my calories. I didn't consider myself overweight, but knew I could do better. Within a few months, 8 pounds or so came off. I hadn't weighed this little since my wedding, and since High School. It wasn't just the marathon training, it really was about calories in, calories out. Simple enough. At times I was burning well over 1600 calories on a long run, and I managed to eat them all back. I kept the weight off, within a pound or two after the marathon all the way up to surgery.

Then it was all over. Sitting around, feeling sorry for myself and feeling entitled. I felt like there was no hope to not gain weight, so why not go all out? Well, I went all out, and it's all back. I'm frustrated because running is so hard and really shouldn't be done right now. I'm frustrated because in March, this will happen all over again. I'm trying not to think about what will happen in March, and just focus on getting it back.

It starts now. The exercise, the calorie counting. The kids gave me Wii fit plus and I'm excited to get back to using that again. I'll start running next week. But tomorrow begins working out in some form, 6 days a week. Like I used to before surgery. Three or four days running with a long run, walking with Fletcher and some strength training. Corey said he'd hang my heavy bag back up so we can kick box. I'm ready. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'll be posting my progress and am anxious to feel fit again.

hike with Fletcher

In the interest of getting my life back on track post surgery, and since I can't really run, I took my Fletcher for a 3 mile hike on Christmas Eve. It was about 20 degrees and snow to my knees at some points, but worth the trip. I had time to quiet my mind and reflect on everything that's been going on. Once we hit the trail, the sun was on us and it felt much warmer. The fact that I was really working hard to walk helped too. I am frustrated with the weight gain from surgery and Christmas goodies and really just from my own laziness and lack of restraint. This hike was my attempt at exercise.

When we reached the top, there were no people prints and what I can only guess was coyote prints. We made our own path and guessed at the direction but ended up where we needed to be. There's a stone bench at the top, facing out over the path we'd just traveled. I decided to sit for a moment and catch my breath and just take in the snow covered view. I was disappointed that my view was taken over by back to back and side to side rooftops with a brown glow hovering over. Ugh. I decided to walk up to the path at the top and look the other way. Much better. Nothing but snow, frost covered branches and an occasional fence post. I let Fletcher off his leash and watched him prance through the snow, barreling as fast as he could one way, then the other, and stopping every now and then to look at me and wonder why I hadn't brought a ball. At this point he now had a beard made of ice crystals that had clung to his doggie drool. He seemed so happy, giddy I think.

We headed back down and as much as I hated to, I put him back on his leash for fear of coyotes, or worse, the HOA. I suppose our hike took over an hour. It was refreshing and a perfect way to start the holiday weekend. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Letter

We have begun receiving Christmas cards and there are always a couple of people who include a Christmas letter. We have never sent one out, although there is a part of me that would like to let people know about our lives, our accomplishments, but it's just not my style. Some letters are too boasting. Not that they shouldn't be proud, but not everyone needs to know. One letter in particular my husband pointed out that while many hobbies were listed for the wife, the husband's description consisted of "husband is still at same job and travels". Started me thinking. How sad. How sad that so many people are defined and limited by work. Obviously he's a good dad and husband, but shouldn't there be more? I know it's got to be hard to find "your thing" and make time for it, but shouldn't you? I mean the same thing can be said for stay at home moms too. Wouldn't you want your Christmas letter to have more? If I write one in my head, I certainly want it to say more than Corey works and Beth continues to stay home. Bleh. I'd want mine to include all kinds of adventures, accomplishments, fun family times, and proud notables about my kids. I am already thinking about how to make the most of 2010 so that if we had a letter, it would include more...