I've had it.

I've had it with this weight. I sit here now, unable to breathe because my belly is so tight. I can't see my feet. I'm frustrated. Without a doubt, I have an issue with sweets. I have no limit and can't stop when they're around. I could blame the surgery. I could blame Christmas. But it's me. Just me.

About a year ago, I started training for a marathon with my neighbor and running buddy. At the same time, I decided to start counting my calories. I didn't consider myself overweight, but knew I could do better. Within a few months, 8 pounds or so came off. I hadn't weighed this little since my wedding, and since High School. It wasn't just the marathon training, it really was about calories in, calories out. Simple enough. At times I was burning well over 1600 calories on a long run, and I managed to eat them all back. I kept the weight off, within a pound or two after the marathon all the way up to surgery.

Then it was all over. Sitting around, feeling sorry for myself and feeling entitled. I felt like there was no hope to not gain weight, so why not go all out? Well, I went all out, and it's all back. I'm frustrated because running is so hard and really shouldn't be done right now. I'm frustrated because in March, this will happen all over again. I'm trying not to think about what will happen in March, and just focus on getting it back.

It starts now. The exercise, the calorie counting. The kids gave me Wii fit plus and I'm excited to get back to using that again. I'll start running next week. But tomorrow begins working out in some form, 6 days a week. Like I used to before surgery. Three or four days running with a long run, walking with Fletcher and some strength training. Corey said he'd hang my heavy bag back up so we can kick box. I'm ready. I've done it before and I can do it again. I'll be posting my progress and am anxious to feel fit again.